In a previous post I talked about the transformational power of asking questions. Here’s a request email I received from a reader a while back. If I ask the open-ended question of what I can do to help, the person could make a request that creates a hardship for me as well. The person may not have a job at the moment, which is awkward to explain in this context. Be specific, not general, in your offers to help. Why You Should Ask for Help At Work Instead of Giving It It may feel counterintuitive, but asking for help from your employees can be more effective than giving it yourself. I Also Need To Be Able To Change The Amount Of Variables And Equations To Be Solved. The Art of Asking: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help [Palmer, Amanda, Brown, Brené] on Amazon.com. When given the chance, I would much rather bear pain on my own, thank-you-very-much. Same if I answer ‘tops’. When we keep asking the same question, we lose out on a chance for deeper connections with colleagues, family, and friends. Question: How Can I Change This Program So That Instead Of Asking For The Array Values It Has The Values Hard Coded Into The Program Already? Asking for help in an academic setting is a peculiar and sometimes paradoxical thing. Sometimes people feel like others are only asking if they can help, because they're trying to be nice. But they have to tell you anyway. Instead, ask them questions… the right questions. When you interact with information by elaborating on it, thinking critically about its context, or relating some pieces of information to others you … Though the answers to your “How” questions may not be easy, asking them can be the beginning of meaningful change. Teachers can help students understand how they learn best and empower them to be advocates for their own learning by teaching them how to ask for help. Here are some examples of the kinds of attitudes that can stand in the way — and ideas on how to get past them. It loads the resume, an automatic output given time and time again. NOTE: I have 5 amazing scripts you can use to set up an informational interview, cold email a stranger for advice, and more. There are so many ways you can offer support. Wanting to make a good impression (and lay a strong foundation for the relationship), you wrap up the meeting with an attempt to uncover the challenges he’s currently facing to see if you can help. We do whatever it takes to get the job done on our own, and in the end, we feel a … Instead of just asking your cousin to redesign your site (or plan your event or design a logo or help update all of your application materials), ask if she can assist in a way that makes sense for her. Either answer starts a conversation we he can ‘be help’ instead of simply asking if I need it. Instead, it conveys an interest in employees and the desire to be part of a solution to resolve a challenging situation. Anyone can publish on Medium per our Policies, but we don’t fact-check every story. whither When my second baby was about a week old, my best friend of 25 years recognized that I was really suffering with postpartum anxiety, and instead of asking me how she could help me, she reached out to my husband to see how she could help us instead. Make sure you get your free download of my 5 best word-for-word email scripts. Why would they think asking for help is a sign of weakness? Her View From Home may receive a small commission if you choose to purchase. The help I need is inside the house. Privacy Policy. It is a positive way to help you see that you have choices and solutions are available. I'm here to help you with your problem. spoken used for asking where something or someone is. Take someone with you. If I am specific in what I can provide, then I’ll know it is a service I can deliver as promised. Teach. They fear that asking for help signals weakness or failure in their character, though adults could tell them that asking for help is instead a sign of maturity and strength. Change it to: Sometimes all they need is a push, or the use of your cell phone. It pins your identity to a job instead of pinning a job to your bigger, evolving identity. Your Choice: What Can I Get, or, How Can I Help? This is when you are likely to discover that you were making a statement or asking a question that is taking your focus south, instead of north. This Is C Programming. instead of asking. For me, you are someone who is strong, determined, committed and incredibly intuitive. We use cookies to collect information from your browser to personalize content and perform site analytics. or (2) How can I help? how can we make the customer pay more for this? Ignoring your pain, masking your weaknesses, and suppressing your emotions won't make you any better. In fact, I balance the stress of feeling like a terrible person if I don’t respond and spending a lot of time responding which takes me away from other things that need to be done which leaves me less time to do things– I shoulder everything for my family of two small children, a puppy and an old dog, and attempt to work as well. And why is it so hard to ask in the first place? It's a sign of strength, not weakness. Many students think of grading as a bargaining process. A companion can ask questions you feel uncomfortable asking and can help you remember what the physician and nurse said. If I answer ‘pants’ – we can start narrowing down the selection. Business also has a new tale, if we are willing to tell it. There was something special about you. Asking for help shows maturity and confidence. Asking thought-provocative or sometimes seemingly “absurd” questions often don’t come naturally. When money or time is a concern for the people you are reaching out to, you may feel that it is inevitable you will get rejected. Mainly, we are not in danger of losing our shelter as so many are. As you go through what you are going through now remember you have this incredible energy that follows you everywhere. Asking for help is never easy, especially if you're asking for help on behalf of someone else. I don’t know you super well, but I could tell from the moment you walked in the room on our first day of creative design workshop that you had this amazing aura. I fully support that, and as a result, I have a lot of time spent on communications responding to the question “How can I help?” with a lot of ‍♀️. The next time you see someone pulled over with a flat tire, or somehow in need of help, stop and ask how you can help. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. phrasal verb. which determiner. Ask the prospective client or partner what he finds valuable, and offer an example of how you can help. Additionally, this question can help extend learning throughout your team as members share the insights that inspire them. Instead, by asking “How can I help right now/today/at 3 PM today/for a few hours this morning?” you’re prompting her to give you a specific task—opposed to say, a 10-minute venting and “thank you so much!” session followed by him or her telling you that “Whatever you can … Enlist the medical care team as partners in care. And that’s just the place no one can help. The person may not care about what they do for a living. what evidence from the case suggests that Costco approach to people management support this business priority? Students who need help often shy away from asking for it, but people—like teachers and tutors—are in that profession because they love being asked to help students. Like many other things, I believe this has its roots in family-of-origin experiences. Asking for help … If I say ‘neither’ I just look like a fool, and we can both wonder why the hell I … Could she respond over email by pointing you to a particularly instructive resource or … ’ s incredibly difficult for me, you are someone who is,... Personal experience in this context is strong, determined, instead of asking how can i help and incredibly intuitive me remind! Are going through now remember you have this incredible energy that follows you everywhere might offer stop! Receive a small commission if you 're not afraid to reach out it. Of my 5 best word-for-word email scripts choices and solutions are available by asking our peers clients. 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